Sunday, October 14, 2007

Autumn Nights

Don smokes cigars. Not very often, but every now and again when the night mood strikes he will run out and get a good cigar and we will sit on the back poarch and talk while he smokes.

The black oak is turning. Cyan calls it a "rainbow oak" becuase it has every shade of green, yellow, brown, and red decorating it's beautiful leaves. The leaves fall, and the kids rake them up to play in the pile. What a beautiful time Autumn is! Last night, sitting outside, bundled against this near freezing evening, watching the stars from under that beautiful tree with my husband while he enjoys one of his only vices... well, it was beautiful.

Just as he came out from checking on the baby, an owl flew overhead. It's white body was visable even in the moonless night. It flew above us, startling me with its call, searching for the meal that brought it from it's warm nest on this cold evening. Above it was a star lit sky. There were no clouds this night. We saw constilations, and a star that pulsed red and white, a morse becon in the dark.

Both of us are just amazed at what this life has brought us. We have been together for 9 years and we have never been as secure or content as we are now. Finally instead of working for something we can't see, we are working for what we love, right here, right now. Finally, instead of digging ourselves in, we are digging out. We were both taken by the amazing reality that this is the life we have been waiting for. We are in it. Here, now. Don was nearly moved to tears.

For the last 5 years I have had a matra on my bathroom mirror. It says "I have faith in a future I can not see." For a long time that seemed true... we couldn't see the end of this journey. Now, all of a sudden we are here, now.

7 comments:

Dawn D. Lion said...

How beautiful! I love that mantra.

Cindy said...

Val, this is a beautiful entry. I love your writing style. I feel like I am on your porch with you! LOL

You are such an inspiration!

Val said...

Thanks ladies. I really enjoyed the evening... it is one of those you want to remember in the bumpy times... you know? And that owl... wow... it was just amazing. I saw another last night. Beautiful!

Val

Katie said...

Your decription is so wonderful, I could totally experience it through your words....congrats on where you & Don have gotten to...that is so inspiring!!
Pete also enjoys the occasional cigar outside :)maybe I should surprise him with one soon, and enjoy some Autumn evening goodness with him some night...

Shannon said...

Oh my, I must put that on my quote list for this week. That's fantastic, and I needed to hear that quote right now.

Tell us about your chickens!!! Tell, or e-mail me at rainbook101@yahoo.com

I have great plans for a garden, composting and a greater level of sustainable living for the Spring. I'm thinking a chick......but tell us your experiences!! Shannon

Sarah said...

Oh I almost cried when I read this. We are always feeling like we are "digging out" and that things are never going our way. I keep forgetting what we are working towards. I loved reading about your mantra. Do you mind if I use it. I think I could use some positive thinking!

Val said...

"I have faith in a future I cannot see"

You are all welcome to use it. :)

It will take a long time to dig out of the finanacial hole we put ourselves in over the last 5 years... but we can do it now. It is happening, slowly, but surely. This month we were able to put an extra $150 on debt, next month Don should be getting a raise (at latest Dec) and we are going to act like it doesn't exsist, and put all of it towards debt, and really get the debt snowball moving. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debt-snowball_method) It feels SO good to have a plan... it feels so good to be able to fill up our cars and not have to worry about getting groceries. Just the whole thing feels good.

I love my life. :)

Val